Sarah Brown
     Sugar Horse

god

1.


Born in a trailer, in the dirt like jesus christ
The boy is always dressed up in girls clothing by mom,
She leaves for ‘work’
He hyperventilates heart rate goes up,

They have a great relationship. His mother is an angel. She is a prostitute. Guys come and go, during that time the boy dressed in girl clothing occupies his time playing in the other room, drawing the men while mom is playing too.

The Boy always says he wants to play too, mom says no no no you gotta play on your own. Youre a beautiful artist, draw me more pictures honey

He always draws the strange men that accompany his mother.


Strong bond forever glue
Scattered glass from the broken plate you
dropped broke

She's murdered by one of the clients accidentally maybe, it doesn't matter
The man flees
The boy is overtop his mom crying he's shaking her
resembling missionary position
from  the dead mothers pov


A man shirtless is pumping him now missionary, sweating and grunting, again pov from bottom.

Pov flips

The boys grown, in messy drag, he looks similar to his young dead mother hes being fucked by a man,

He tricks when he has to, he keeps the sketch of the man he thinks killed her in his pocket always, his vocation, revenge plot of a bad Hollywood movie; a mission to find the man who killed his mother the only way he knows how, Fucking.


2.


A lizard missing its tail, sacrifices a piece of himself and escapes the predator,
19 years….
After some hours driving straight thru part of a night and the rising red purple horizon
the car knocking in the engine he hates to stop, the transmission shifts hard, at any moment it seems the car will fall in a thousand pieces the kid pulls over to piss

Never ending sand, the wind blows his stream back at his jeans, sand in his eyes and cock and lips. He cusses
The day goes down the road

Storm clouds drum the red desert evening

rain with a vengeance begins , he slows down , he gives up on the wipers, head out

the window squinting cussing licking rain drops from his skin

Wind howls through the cracked windshield like the roof would give way

Before the dwindling quarter tank… he hates looking at the dashboard.


In any direction i walk

As i move further away from you

I move closer

Dont forget

We live on in a circle my baby boy

Pushing the oldsmobile as fast as it could go,  watching the gas needle bounce from the quarter tank to bottom of red.


Does this earth need my foot print?
Oils of my skin seeping into the root
Incendiary oils
With a habit of igniting
Bright fleeting fire, followed by
Perennial blackend ash.

Last night i dreamt of dead rabbits and Rodents; Frozen at the moment of their death

Suspended.
I cant sit in this car anymore this is starting to feel like the time i had sleep paralysis in the dennys parking lot. I hate being stuck in cars, living in stolen fucking cars.
Once in a great while the kid reflects while his bones are being gnawed upon
and realizes that it is not the leopard itself that he has begun to enjoy, but the feeling of its teeth upon his ribcage.


However, without the leopard, there is no feeling. Try as he might to recreate…


Tiny roads in for travelers who have lost their way in the middle of the night

Dead skin stuck under your nails

Slapping your face rubbing blood eyes

Head stuck out the window going 95

Swerving in sleep deprivation.


in the middle of the desert there's a truckstop

Crashing halt , the clock says 3:37am

Maggie is sleeping in the back naked curled in my long coat


The blue black sky, last glance, god shrugging, the car idling knocking and cuts the ignition.

Leaving Maggie sleeping in the car he makes sure to lock the door.



One time in middle school while the teacher was in the middle of lecture one of the students fell out of their chair seizing no one knew what to do and after a few minutes the child was back to normal anyway.


Another piece of history, when you're broke  you can show up to a town and leave with rotted memories…it's worth the money to keep on driving.


Odd job type work… a gay hook up, riding took a long time to start

The concept of being a man, being straight, regardless of my mind being open to sex with men. Further. More. soon after this i got fucked in the ass. I had been thinking of this for awhile but with hemorrhoids i didnt want to shit blood, i decided fuck it if i shit…

And started getting fucked in the ass as much as possible.

All my life I've been a top, but now can be a bottom, something I typically wouldn't do… 5 nights—-

Put his boots on, threw the duffle bag over his shoulder, cheap perfume, lube and ran around back where the 18 wheelers parked


1.)

Does the
EARTH NEED MY FOOTPRINTS?